hawk954

1. A man has just entered the hotel lobby.

He is walking towards the reception counter when he accidentally bumps into a woman.
As he bumps into her, his elbow goes into her reasts.

They are both startled and he apologizes, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you will forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I will be in room

128."

一位男士走进酒店大厅，向前台走的时候无意中撞到了一位女士，胳膊刚好撞到了她的乳房，
两人都不好意思，互相道歉。‘

“女士，如果你的心和你的乳房一样软的话，我知道你肯定会原谅我的”’

她回答道：“如果你的JJ象你的胳膊肘一样硬的话，我就在128号房等你。”

2. One day, one masked man carrying a shotgun went inside a sperm bank.He shouted, "

This is a robbery!! Nobody moves or I'll blow your fucking brain!!"Then he proceed to the receptionist
lady and and she calmly told the robber, "Sir, this is not really a bank. We don't have any money here."

The robber did not bother listening to her and ordered the lady to open the vault.Then he said, "

Grab one of the vial and drink up its content or I'll blow your fucking brain!"
The lady was frightened and open up one vial, then she drank the sperm in it.


"Grab another one and drink!!" ordered the robber.The lady had no choice but to do so.

After finishing the second vial, the robber unmasked himself and the lady was shocked
to see it was her own husband.Then her husband said, "It's not that difficult to drink, isn't it bitch?!!"

一天，一个蒙面人持枪进了一家精子库，他大叫“抢劫，都别动，谁动就打爆谁的头”。
然后他走向接待小姐，接待小姐很冷静的跟也讲：“这不是银行，我们这没钱”

抢劫犯都懒得听她的，命令她去打开储藏室，
然后他说：“随便拿一瓶，然后把里面的东西都喝干净要不然我就打破你的头。”

那位女士很害怕，打开一个瓶子，就把里面的精液喝了。“再喝一瓶”抢劫犯命令道。
女士别无选择只能照办。等她把第二瓶也喝完了，
抢劫犯揭开了面罩，女士惊奇的发现居然是她的丈夫。然后她的丈夫说：“把它喝下去也没那么难吧，贱人”

3.Three men died and stood in front of God.

God asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife.

He admitted having two affairs during his marriage.
God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.

The second man was asked the same question

and admitted having only one affair and was

given a midsize car.
Finally, the third man was asked and he

said that he had been faithful to his wife

until the day he died. God praised him and

gave him a big luxury car.
A week later the three guys met at a

parking lot. The man driving the luxury car

began to cry.
The other two asked him, "what is the

matter?"
The third guy replied, "I just passed my

wife, and she was riding a bike!"

三个人死后站在了上帝面前。

上帝问了第一个人是否忠于自己的妻子。他承认他有两段婚外情。上帝就给了他一辆小型汽车在天堂里用。

然后第二个人也被问到了同样的问题，他也承认有一段婚外情。上帝就给了他一辆中型小汽车。

最后，问第三个人，他说他一生都终于自己的妻子。上帝夸奖了他，并给了他一辆又大又豪华的车。
一周后，三个人在一个停车场相遇，开豪华大车的那个人伤心得要哭了。另两人就问他怎么了。第三个人回答道：“我刚刚在路上碰到了我的妻子，他正骑一辆小自行车。”

笑了请点红星支持，更多奉上。

[ 本帖最后由 hawk954 于 2009-6-17 14:59 编辑 ]

很不错的笑话,有意思.感觉风格和国内的笑话有区别

就是说那男的一生忠于自己的妻子，结果妻子却背着自己有很多外遇啊。真是家门不幸。

嘿，这么一说我想起有个将克林顿的电风扇的那个笑话，有异曲同工之妙。忘了是在哪个帖子里了。

第一个不错，碰到个地道的闷骚女人，这样的艳遇可遇不可求啊。